Desserts that snuggle yo’ mouth — Wine Poached Pears

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Sometimes I like to get a little fancy too, ya know. It’s not all sweatpants and crying you know!!! Sometimes I do cute shit JUST BECAUSE.

Or because my grandparents were arriving from the land of olive trees and constant government shutdowns (No, no Greece, Portugal). Or that my mother pressured me into baking something. I mean hey, details, details.

I know that literally everybody and their grandmother has their own wine poached pears recipe– ranging from adding things like bay leaves, cloves, and juniper berries if you’re Martha Stewart… BUT this is different! I shout, arms up in the air triumphantly Or well, at least different enough. This is the Portuguese way to make poached pears, and if there’s something I’m incredibly vocal about it’s how ethnic and weird and different I like to think I am.

Please don’t burst this bubble for me.

This is a really versatile, season-wise kind of dessert, because while it’s spiced with a cinnamon stick, it still has some lemon peel in there to really brighten it up. However, I mean this shit screams fall. Nothing really says “cozy sweaters and petting my dog under a blanket” like eating hot pears in fermented spiced grape juice.

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Best thing about this recipe (for me)? Is that since this is actually a recipe passed down to me from my grandmother, I have to give you guessitmates of measurements. I also had my mother hovering over me like a hawk, barking out instructions while all I did was mostly stir a pot, and take photos of it outside while smoothing out my cute as fuck frilly apron. If you try things out and it doesn’t seem to be working right?? Just kind of tweak it a bit.

You want authentic mama-style cooking mixed with fall tastes? Well here it is people! (The cross section of you being probably all very small).
Also, to make it extra festive, I’ve made this the spooky Halloween edition! And everything else that will come out this month!!

Wine Poached Pears


  • 5 Bartlett pears, peeled
  • 1/2 cup red wine (dry I suppose?? Not too sweet)
  • 1/2 cup water
  • ~1/2 to 1 cup sugar (do it to taste!!)
  • 1 whole lemon peel
  • 1 cinnamon stick
  1. Alright guys, grab your cutest pears and peel their flesh off with a blade. Either consume their flesh or discard their remains into your waste bin. It shall not be missed.
  2. Find a pot that’s big enough to hold 5 adorably skinned pears while they boil themselves into a meal. Start pouring out the red wine you’ve stolen from your neighbor’s carcass and mix it with your finest tap water.
  3. Pour in your sugar, and stir around until dissolved. Taste the mixture and check to see if it’s sweet enough. Now is the time to CHANGE SHIT AROUND because once you start moving forward there’s no going baaaaaaaaaack! okay that’s bullshit. you can always add more sugar. I’m trying to keep it spooky here people!
  4. Peel a lemon and dispose of the body. It’s the flesh you want this time. Place it into your pot full of water and wine along with a lowly cinnamon stick. Nestle the skinned pears into the pot along with the ingredients and bring it to a soft boil for about 20 to 30 minutes. The pears should still be firm as if you’ve recently removed them from the coil of life, but also softening. The pears should have a little snap to them.
  5. OPTIONAL STEP: You can either feast upon fruit remains while everything is still warm, OR you can stick it in the fridge overnight and let the red fermented grape sauce seep into the pear, making it almost cascade out a reddish fluid as you tear it apart.

So this time around I experimented with shooting my photos in ~~natural daylight~~ and HOLY JESUS NO WONDER YOU PEOPLE DO IT. Seriously. Why are my photos like 600x more beautiful with literally the same effort put into it? Damn you sun.

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Look at how cute and snuggly they look in that pot!

Okay so BEFORE you look at this next photo scroll back up to see the title photo……. seen enough? Now look at how different it looks inside of my kitchen!!

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Still really cute next to some Earl Grey Walnut ice cream tho~~


2 thoughts on “Desserts that snuggle yo’ mouth — Wine Poached Pears

    • Thank you so much!! I grew up eating these constantly, particularly in the fall when family friends would basically throw homegrown pears at us. 😂

      So ya know, just the 10 year old pretending she was buzzed on wine-o pears. 😂

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