Spooky Chocolate Cake w/ Pumpkin Buttercream Filling

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So I’m trying this new thing out where I’m attempting to type up as many blog posts as I can and queue them, because between my two jobs I don’t exactly have all of the time in the world to type. 98% of the time I come home, eat and fall asleep to the sweet sounds of my phone apps. This has very clearly caused my blogging to go to the wayside…

BUT NO MORE.

Dammit, I will get this shit in order. AND MAKE IT SEASONAL. How about that? I still got a backlog of so much crap I’ve baked up. We shall get there. For now, seasonal stuff!!

Welcome to the second spooky spectacular update!! This time we’re baking up a spooky spectacular chocolate cake with some pumpkin filling!! how many times u wanna bet I say spooky spectacular through out this update?

It almost pains to link to you the original recipe because it’s really *so* pretty with the sparkly black sugar crystals. I ultimately had to make due with chocolate sprinkles because when you’re at the mercy of your mother having to go grocery shopping for you while you’re at work, you just have to make due with whatever the hell she brings home. Half of the time it’s a fucking adventure for both of us, where she’s standing around at the Shoprite taking photos of the completely wrong thing, to only have me answer her like 25 minutes later and correct her. The only message I always receive is “too bad i already bought”.

ughhhhhh

This means I had to basically nix the butterscotch that the recipe originally asked for because even though I successfully melted the candies, when I tried to add them into the buttercream CHAOS ensued and the candy hardened in BIG FAT STRINGS. SUPER UGH.

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Also, where the fuck do you even buy black sugar? Or any of those beautiful sanding sugars? Do I gotta go to a special cake store? You people order them shits online??? Help a sister out here, man.

The recipe is based off of Sugar Hero’s pretty cake. I’ve changed shit around because if I didn’t would I really be a baking blog??? I mean you gotta make it a little different, no?

One more note here guys, I (or rather my ma) couldn’t find black cocoa in the super market so to pretend that I actually used two different cocoa powders I used both the Shoprite brand and the Hersey’s Brand!!!! That’s good enough right????????

Guys, wait. Guys, please come back. Don’t leave!


Chocolate Cake w/ Pumpkin Butterscotch Filling

Note: I basically in the kooky nutmeg sort of way followed the recipe. I found the cake to be a little to dry for my taste. What can I say, I love the texture of boxed cake. Because this is how I made it, I’m putting the recipe as I did it. I’m suggesting to increase the veg oil to maybe 1 cup??? It might be too greasy??? I dunno man, I’m not a doctor.

Spooky Spectacular Ingredients

**Cake

  • 2 2/3 cups ap flour
  • 3/4 cup cheap ass bitch cocoa powder
  • 3/4 cup slightly less cheap ass bitch cocoa powder
  • 1 3/4 tsp baking powder
  • 3/4 tsp baking soda
  • 1 1/2 tsp salt
  • ~2 1/2-ish cups sugar {Ya’ll need jesus or a dentist for almost 4 cups of sugar, shit man}
  • 1 1/4 cups weak ass coffee brewed by ur mom
  • 1 1/4 cups buttermilk OR 1 tbsp lemon juice-milk mixture
  • 3/4 cup veg oil
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 tsp vanilla

**Pumpkin Buttercream filling

  • 3-6 cups powdered sugar (???? I just keep slowly pouring the bag in until I like the sweetness level???)
  • 1 1/2 stick, unsalted butter
  • 1/2 cup pumpkin puree
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 2 tsp cinnamon powder
  • 1 tsp nutmeg
  • 1 tsp ginger
  • 1 tsp allspice
  • 1/2 tsp clove
  • 1/2 tsp salt

**Chocolate Buttercream

  • 8 oz, 100% unsweetened chocolate (because do I look like some milk chocolate eater??)
  • 3-6 cups powdered sugar (again! Use as much as u want homieslice)
  • 2 sticks, unsalted butter
  • 2 tsp vanilla
  • 1/4 salt

–OKAY BITCHES, IT’S CAKE TIME

  1. Preheat yo oven to 350Fm spooky friends! Butter and flour three 9″ cake pans. Or if you’re me, butter and flour your own 2 cake pans and then scramble frantically searching for a third pan that has never existed, and just settle on the springform pan.
  2. In another bowl, put your dry shit together. u know the drill already. flour, cocoa powders, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Toss it around with a fork.
  3. Pull out your stand mixer and use the paddle attachment. If it doesn’t look like something you could reasonably spank somebody’s ass with, you probably have the wrong tool. I mean, unless a whisk or a dough hook looks appealing to you, I suppose I could show you to some nice Halloween themed S&M dungeons. Beat together the sugar, eggs, coffee, buttermilk, oil and vanilla. Once combined add the dry ingredients to the wet ones, scrapping up the sides. Keep beating it until it looks good?? Like fully combined??
  4. Start dividing and pouring out your batter between your three cake pans (or two cake pans and 1 springform pan). I put slightly less in my springform pan and just decided that sucka was gonna be the bottom piece.
  5. Bake yo cakes at 350 for like 20 or so minutes. I dunno your oven man! This is a personal relationship between you two. It’s the most sacred between baker and tool. Make love to your oven. Show her you love her. Tickle with her nobs a bit… and install an oven thermometer because you don’t trust her to give you the right temperature. Mine is a Viking oven and that shit is all calibrated wrong. I can bake stuff in like 20 minutes sometimes. Often the oven is like ohhhhh 25 degrees hotter. Don’t trust your oven!!

–PUMPKIN BUTTER CREAM TIME GUYS

  1. Wash your dirty chocolate bowl out, unless u fancy and have more than one bowl for your stand mixer (I mean, I can’t judge. I have a second one……. but it’s lost in the garage SOOOO). Start beating the butter until it’s lightly colored and fluffy, about 3 minutes.
  2. Start adding in your sugar. Seriously, just pour it in or add it by the spoonfuls. This is not something you EVER need to measure. Just taste as you go! Have some fun, little guy! Taste some frosting!! Life is good!!! It’s spooky Halloween time!
  3. Throw all care to the wind and add in your spices. The batter is gonna be so overspiced it’s going to take on a brownish color. This is good and fun! That’s how you know you have perfectly spiced it like a pumpkin spice latte
  4. OKAY SO FOR ME, shit hit the fan. I added in my pumpkin and my buttercream became butterscream because it separated!!! The fat separated from the whole thing and at that moment I had NO IDEA how to fix it. So I kept it as it, and just fucking called it done and used it in the middle of my cake. Apparently this was caused by my pumpkin puree being too cold and not the right temp. Make sure your pumpkin IS ROOM TEMP BEFORE YOU ADD IT IN.

–SCARY DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE BUTTERSCREAM

  1. Start beating your two sticks of butter until it’s pale, light and fluffy, again like 2 to 3 minutes.
  2. Get yourself a microwave safe bowl (not like me who’s fingers are burnt so often the CIA couldn’t identify my dead body) and add in your chocolate. Nuke it in intervals of 15 seconds, always stirring in between each microwave cycle until it’s all melty and smooth.
  3. While the melted chocolate cools off a bit, start adding in the powdered sugar by the spoonful, tasting every so often and scraping up the sides. That’s what I love about buttercreams, it’s basically a “do it to your taste” kinda thing. Run free my baking friends!! Don’t be constrained by weights and measurements! Buttercream will set you free!!
  4. Once you’re done having a beautiful hokey moment, add in your chocolate and MIX IT GOOD. Get in with that spatula and mush it into the parts that it’s chocolately goodness hasn’t seeped into yet. That’s lovin’ yourself right there.

–(NOT REALLY SO) DAUNTING ASSEMBLY

  1. Put a little smudge of frosting down on whatever stand or plate you’re using in order to keep your scary cake in scary place. Grab a layer of cake and just kind of lightly smush it down.
  2. Start frosting the shit out of the middle with your pumpkin frosting. Hopefully yours won’t be butterscream and broken as hell like mine.
    But like for real, tho– go ham wild. There’s almost too much buttercream made.
  3. Slap another layer right on top of that, and MORE PUMPKIN BUTTER CREAM YEAH.
  4. Place your top layer, and do a light crumb coating. Just kind of with minimal frosting just go around the whole thing so you patch in the crumbs and seal the frosting in. Put it in a fridge somewhere for at least an hour or longer.
  5. Bring that sucker out and frost the shit out of it. Frost it so hard it’s fucking scary. Just go all spooky on it’s cakey ass!
    okay okay I’m done with the shitty puns
  6. Finally cover the whole thing in the rest of your chocolate buttercream and then kind of gently smoosh the sprinkles onto the side, and decorate the top with cute little fall maple leave sprinkles~~

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Chocolate buttercream lookin’ so fresh so fly

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Did you know I’m on instagram and that I stare at other bloggers photos all day, and somehow they just got that aerial shot down pat? How do you that guys? And I doing it right??

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Because when your cake looks so stinking cute u need like 500 photos. Seriously. You’re all lucky I’ve culled it down to like 4.

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If you don’t look too hard at the buttercream you won’t even notice it’s broken. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

So the reason this last photo looks the way it does is because I didn’t get to eat the stupid cake. Well, okay, at least not at the dinner party my ma went to. She took this photo on her phone, and the lady can barely use it, so let me say, I’m super impressed.

Okay, the lighting might be horrible, and it’s in portrait format but cut the bitch some slack, ya know??? She’s like 55 and scared of computers. The fact that she can even navigate an iphone without it exploding in her hands is a small miracle.

But I gotta admit, now that would be spooky as fuck. YEAAAaaaaahhh!

More fall goodies are coming your way!! Get your sweet ass ready for some pumpkin spice shit!

Oh and the final count?

Spectacular – 4
Scary – 5
Spooky – 9

What can I say folks? I’m frighteningly true to my word.

Happy Halloween!!! πŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒ

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4 thoughts on “Spooky Chocolate Cake w/ Pumpkin Buttercream Filling

  1. I love your blogging voice, you’re hilarious!!!
    Love it!!
    Good job salvaging what mom brought home. Trust me, when it comes to buying sugary shit and getting weird chocolates and shit to melt right, I feel your pain.
    Well done babe!

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