The “I’m A Good Friend, I Swear!” Cupcakes – Chocolate Dulce de Leche Cupcakes

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Once upon a time, when I had a job working with a few unpleasant people, I had the luck that a certain cupcake chain wanted to partner up with us. My supervisor told me to email a particular person and schedule a meeting with him. You see, my position was sort of like a business developer, except with none of the fun tasks of developing. Or social media. Or writing. Or web developing. Or anything I was interested in.

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Valentine’s Day is whenever I want — Creme Brulee Cupcakes

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When I was in college, I used to date this horrid person. This isn’t the wah-wah-wah of a bitter ex, oh no, this is the musings of an emotionally abused woman.

Yeah. BOMBS DROPPED on the first line of a Valentine’s day post, huh? Well, it’s true. I was emotionally abused for almost 3 years. I got to experience myself go from this bubbly, frothy, easygoing sort of girl into this clammy, dead-eyed shell of a human. You all know how much I love to curse, along with talk about dicks and cake in the same breath. Well, that person did not exist in my early 20s.

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To (not) my grandma’s house we will a-go! (But not really) — Pumpkin Crumb Cake

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What the hell do you bake for an old widowed Lutheran German expat that hates chocolate and believes that cheese-based foods give her headaches? What if I told you you’re her eldest daughter’s eldest son’s ethnic-ass girlfriend and you want to impress the shit out of her, and show her you’re a normal American girl? A cake of course!! Pumpkin can be seen as a peace offering between all languages and barriers, according to The New York Times.

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Thanks Gwen Stephani for teaching me how to spell — Upside Down Banana Blondie Cake

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In my crazy hazy idea of trying to bake in my boyfriend’s paltry (baking-wise. that bubble-butt actually has a nice pad) apartment I grocery shopped for a few necessities and on a strange whim picked up bananas with him.

“Do I really need bananas?”
“Baby! Didn’t you say that you wanted to eat healthier?? This could be your breakfast before work!” I cheerfully quipped.
“But shooting whipped cream straight into my mouth with chocolate sauce has been working so far though!” He said in earnest, a word here meaning “yes my boyfriend actually shoots whipped cream straight into his mouth from the can and he’s 25.”

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