Portuguese Size Queen — Large Portuguese Custard Tart

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Since I bake everything in real-time and eat everything almost immediately, it’s a little difficult for me to always be timely with seasonal desserts. I like to call this “authenticity”. Ya know, to cover up for the “laziness” in typing.

Remember how my last post was written about how I haven’t really seen my godmother? SURPRISE TWIST: I wrote that post forever ago, and guess what! We now cool again. How fun right? We so cool we even got to go to her house for thanksgiving. She made this… dinosaur of a fucking turkey.

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What the hell why not — PĆ£o de LĆ³ or, Portuguese Sponge Cake & Strawberry Lemonade

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My friends all went to the beach on Monday and kindly invited me out on Sunday. I declined early because I was still at the Portuguese 4th of July party drinking wine like the world was ending. When my friends asked why I wouldn’t be able to go I drunkingly told them because I already had too much to drink, so I would be hungover and possibly couldn’t go to the beach the next day.

Confession time: This is a lie. I’m so fucking lazy I couldn’t bare the idea of getting up at 9am so I could leave to go to the beach at 9:30am. Nope nope. Fuck that noise. I ain’t getting up that early. What do I look like to you? An early morning Wizard? There’s a reason I’m unemployed, people.
*sobs*

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